Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Tooey and Chewey

Meet Toothsome W. Chuck and Chewsome W. Chuck. Tooey and Chewey are this year's woodchuck babies. They have been born fifth generation backyard dwellers. At my house. Chewey is a little wet, it is raining here today. In honor of Tooie and Chewey, I raise the question: what do these things have in common?

They are all home decor in the burrow. Yes even the flag. And the pole. Someday, I am going to dig into that burrow and find everything I have been missing for the last 5 years. I have been considering re-instituting the woodchuck relocation program. I have run out of other ways to chase them away. Humans and woodchucks do not coexist well. They dig holes big enough for you to break your leg in, they can open the trash can and spread the trash all over the yard, and they can and will chew through 4 inch wood posts in your house, garage or deck. And when they do, you will find them strolling across the shelves in your garage, pushing all your stuff off. I can tell you with authority, things that do not work to get rid of woodchucks and their huge holey borrows in your yard:
1. Mothballs. They scoff at mothballs.
2. Filling in the burrows. They dig so fast that by the time you put the shovel away and walk in the back door, they have opened up that burrow hole again.
3. Shooting. My brother in law sat in the bathroom window many days with a pellet gun waiting to ping them. The woodchucks knew it. I could hear them in the burrow laughing and telling jokes about him.
4. Ammonia. Not only did they not avoid the ammonia rags, they took them into the burrow.
5. Flooding. I stuck a garden hose into the burrow and turned it on full blast. I let it run for three hours before I turned it off. The burrow is so huge that three hours of water did not fill it. I never saw any of that water come out. I waas afraid I would cave the backyard in.
6. Trapping. This does work temporarily, but not without problems. It is not so bad to put a trap full of woodchuck in the car to take it away. But, what do you do with a trap full of skunk? Yeah.
Come over if you have a large dog. He would have a blast chasing Tooey and Chewey.
Normal Girl