I Heart Golf

Not.

I got this in the mail while I was gone. I have never played golf....except putt putt, which does not seem to be in the magazine's editorial direction. Don't know a thing about golf. Don't really care to know a thing about golf. Please do not say TIger Woods in my presence ever again. I do not know who the new Phil is or want to putt like him. But, it's mine. Has my name and address and an account number on the label.

I started by calling Golf magazine, whose automated computer told me I could not cancel the subscription since a third party set it up. Thankfully, they gave me the name of the third party. I am oblivious to pressure and you can see by the scribbles on the magazine, that I was sent on a wild goose chase to make sure I am not being charged for this magazine.

I never spoke to a person. Eventually, the computer managed to tell me that I am not being charged for the subscription. I recently placed an order at Vista Print and they asked them to send it to me. Yeah, right. So, to cancel it, I had to give them even more information that I did not want them to have. I guess I will not know if it is cancelled until next month. Meanwhile I am watching my card account to see if there are any charges.

Why did they assume I would love a year of Golf magazine?

Dear Vista Print,

Thank you so much for your generous gift of a year of Golf magazine. Could I possibly change that to something I would read? Please choose from the following suggestions:

• Bead and Button Magazine
• How to Make Money from Giving Other People's Addresses Out Quarterly
• How to Save Money by Never Answering the Phone Magazine

Thank you, I look forward to receiving one of the above.

Normal Girl