Monday, March 9, 2009

Wild Kingdom Oversteps it Bounds

It is 4:30am and I have a raccoon in my kitchen.  Yep.  All those pics I have shown you of raccoons and woodchucks and you, they are so cute????  Wish you were here now sharing this experience with me.

I woke up at 4am to the ceiling crashing in over the basement stairway.  I kicked myself and decided not to get up and check it out because there was nothing I could do right then.  A few minutes later, I heard things breaking in the kitchen.  CRAP! I got up.  I flicked on the lights, I knew he was there but it took me a few minutes to find him.  If I had had a gun, I would have blasted him to his maker right there on the kitchen window at 4am.

I went out the front door, walked around the house, and opened the back door, hoping he would take the chance to escape.  He must have done it while I was walking back to the front door.  I have not heard a sound in the kitchen since then.  

I just went back in and looked around.  I don't see him.  The back door is now closed.  He is either outside or playing in Girl World.  I am now thankful for the pocket doors on both kitchen doorways.  I have the kitchen closed off from the basement and from the rest of the house. I am thinking I should have someone look in the attic for more of satan's friends before I leave town this week.  And, it stinks in there, just from his short visit this morning.  If you have not been up close and personal yourself, you can believe me that raccoons stink.  Literally and figuratively.

Hoping I can go back to sleep now,  I have a really busy day ahead, made even worse by the masked evil thing.  I have to wash everything, ick! 

Update 5:30 am.  I went back to bed..... and a few minutes ago, I heard him in the kitchen.  I had turned on all the lights, looked under everything with a flashlight and did not see him.  Where was he hiding?  But, that is why is still smelled in there, he was still there.  So, he had tried all three windows.  He is now at the third window.  I watched him open this window, and leave.  He pushed the top half of the window all the way down.  He was a strong little bugger.  I struggled to put it back up again.  At least I know he is gone.  Still wondering how many are still in the attic.  And, he could be back up there again by now.  Have I mentioned how much I hate raccoons?  I am seriously creeped out by this.

Hope insurance pays for this,
Normal Girl


Pamela said...

OMG I am laughing so hard I am crying!!!!

And on top of that I am freaked out and creeped out too!


(ps. I feel bad for you)

Dawn said...

you watched it leave!? why didn't you take a bat to its head or something?

Imaginina said...

I was afraid if I didn't hit it hard enough, it would go back in the house and hide, bleeding and stinking. I just wanted it to go away at that point.

Pamela said...

I amsorry baby, I am laughing so hard I am about to P my pants!!!!!!!

votemom said...

oh my gosh kim i am so sorry - what a huge mess and huge repair job. what a freaky way to wake up at 4 in the morning??!!!!! did know suspect right away it was a critter or did you think maybe a burglar?? MAN OH MAN!

Joy! said...

my oh my, what a start to the day. You ARE the queen of relocating critters, so let the fun begin ;o)

Anonymous said...

And yet, with all of the animal kingdom activity in your own house at 5:30AM, you have the faculties to take a picture of the culprit in the act...

The Diplomat

Imaginina said...

I knew it was a raccoon immediately. Have been dealing with these horrible things a long time. Now it is war!

Nobody would have believed my story without pics.

Anonymous said...