Thursday, September 17, 2009

Check Out My Cooties

I had the aisle seat on the way home tonight. The woman who sat next to me in the middle seat, got in, flicked up both of her armrests to a 45 degree angle and said out loud, "I need my space!"

It was uncomfortable not having a place to put my arm, and I thought that she just couldn't push it up all the way. So, I asked her if she intended to push it all the way up. No. She wanted it there and said, "I want it there so that you can't touch me. I cannot have you touching me." I just smiled because I thought she was kidding and I pushed it up. She then said, "I can only have it all the way up if you promise not to touch me!" She was stressing and making sighs like I was holding a gun to her head.

THe guy in the window seat came late and we had to get up to let him in. She was disgusted. And took the opportunity to flick the armrest back to 45 degrees. I left it there and had to lean out into the aisle to fit myself into the seat. I was pressed against it for more than two hours and had an imprint of the buttons on my arm. I admit not feeling charitable toward her, but she was acting so weird, I thought it best to leave her alone. My spine had to adopt an S shape to be able to fit in the seat with no place to put my left arm. Very uncomfortable.

At the end of the flight, everyone was struggling to collect luggage and get out. It was a three seats on each side configuration and that just takes time to empty out. The people in the middle and window seats cannot get to the overheads until the aisle seat people get out. As the people in the row ahead of us are getting their bags down, the nutty lady says, "What it is about getting out of the airplane that is a surprise to you people? Why can't you just be ready to get out?"

Yikes, I could not get out of there fast enough. I was kind of hoping someone would punch her and kind of feeling sorry for her.

So, I came home and rolled a log of goat cheese in dill and ate it. Look at that. My cooties are gone.

Humanity can sure be weird,
Normal (I hope) Girl