Spring Beads

I made these yesterday for my Bead Unique column for spring. My editor rejected them. Waaaaa. They are pretty cute, I think. So now, what will I do with them??? So many possibilities....

Funny to be thinking about spring?

Normal Girl

The Coffee Habit

I know this is not a good picture, I took it while on my morning walk with my phone. The woman in the pic is power walking with a cup of coffee. She was seriously walking, my friends. I have seen this trend where I live. I am not judging, but am asking...really? Is the coffee addiction so strong that you have to have it while you are power walking? I don't drink coffee, and I could understand taking water or gatorade with you, but coffee? Someone explain this?

I can barely manage walking. Walking and drinking at the same time???

Normal Girl

Church Bulletin Announcements

I don't know if this speaks to the kind of day I am having, or my third grade sense of humor, or what, but I really did laugh at these. Out loud. Announcements from church bulletins: -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you. -------------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again, ' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. -------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you will want remembered. -------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. -------------------------- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. -------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------------- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge so up yours.'

My church bulletin is never this much fun,

Normal Girl

They Don't Make 'Em Like That Anymore

I got this picture last night from my friend, the VP of Selling Buttons. I made this Christmas dress for her daughter 20 years ago. Why in the world does she still have it? And why is it so huge? Maybe it has grown in 20 years. Anyway, it made me laugh!

Rudolph Rocks,

Normal Girl

Shoe Shopping

Vacuum shoes. I don't know how they work, but I am saying to you Wonder Woman, if everyone in your house had a pair of these, you would never need to use a vacuum cleaner again!

Electricity Generating Shoes. They are advertised to generate electricity while you walk....enough to power your iPod. Really good if you keep losing your charger cord, like I do.

These are apparently the rage with teens in Japan. When you break you ankle walking in them, you will have a handy game boy while you are sitting in a chair waiting for it to heal.

I think your Mom would like these.

MP3 Shoes. Play your music over the speakers or use them wirelessly with your headphones. What happens when you get caught in the rain or the sprinkler?

Not only are these flip flops waterproof, they are booze proof.

GPS Shoes. You have heard of the gift that keeps on giving. This is the gift to which you keep on giving. They will cost you $200 and an additional $10 every month. But, you will never get lost! Well, until you step in a puddle or kick something too hard. Do you think they talk to you like the GPS in your car?

You are probably not going to buy these shoes, but I had to include them. They are made specifically for prostitutes. I wonder how large a market that is. They have an alarm in case you get into trouble. They have hidden compartments for your keys and cash and other small tools of the trade. There is a little computer screen that runs a blog for you. You and your fellow workers can input problem clients, so you always have a running list of them. Kind of like checking ID before you get to work, I guess. And there is a GPS in case you lose your corner.

The Human PinBall is in China right now. If you need any of these for Christmas presents, she can probably find them for you there. Order now!

I love shoes,

Normal Girl

Is Average Like Normal?

The kids like this website. Sometimes I go and read just to laugh. I like witty people and witty stories.

The other day, my friends were practicing writing their names with their left hand. I wrote mine and they were all telling me how good it was. I'm left-handed. MLIA

Today, we had a test in Science Class. One question was "How do you delay the speed at which milk turns sour?". I didn't know the answer, so I wrote "Keep it in the cow". Full credit was awarded. MLIA.

Today, I was in a common area on campus when a guy who had been playing songs by The Fray started playing the Addams family theme. All the students in the room, without looking up from their books and laptops, snapped at all the right places. I love college. MLIA

Go read.

Is average the same as normal?

Average Normal Girl

Missionary Bracelets

Bead soup party tonight. We made over 40 bracelets to put in the missionary cupboard at church. Each year we have a bead soup party and make bracelets to put in the cupboard. When our missionaries come home, they may go to the cupboard and take what they need. It is stocked with all kinds of necessities and gifts. We have sent bracelets all over the world to women in bible studies with our missionaries. It is a fun night for us, and hopefully some encouragement for other women...wherever they are.

Wondering in what countries our bracelets will show up,

Normal Girl