Dear Post Office

Dear Delivery Supervisor,

How nice of you to take a personal interest in my sidewalk. I am sorry I have not met you, maybe you could deliver the mail to my mailbox one day. Knock on the door and introduce yourself! The sidewalk is shoveled.

It is also great to know that you have the safety of our mail carrier in mind. When you come to deliver my mail, you will be able to see that my mail carrier never actually uses my sidewalk. He tramps across the middle of the yard every day, no matter how much snow there is or isn't. Does he know that he is supposed to be using the sidewalk? Also when you come to deliver my mail, you can see that the mailbox is at the foot of the stairs. There is no need for the mail carrier to use the steps or the porch.

Yes, I understand that what I received is a form letter. Since that is your preferred way of communicating, I am working on a couple of my own in hopes our relationship will become closer:

• When the mail carrier leaves the mailbox open in the rain...
• Not removing the outgoing mail before placing incoming mail in the box...
• Delivering mail that belongs to everyone on my street, into my mailbox (by the way, whenever that happens, I deliver the mail for you... maybe if I leave a shovel at the sidewalk, the mail carrier can shovel it for me??)...

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night,

Your friend,

Normal Girl